Full

My heart is very full tonight. You know, I read a bunch of peoples blogs. They are so good with words. They can express things that I feel, into words. I know this is something that I'm not quite good at. I think I get too overwhelmed with my feelings that nothing I can type seems to express what I'm feeling at the moment. I need to get better at this. Even if it takes me an hour of typing and deleting on this post, I want to get my feelings, coherent, and on this post.

These are my 2 boys. Quinn, 19 mos. and Kasen, 6 yrs. This is where my heart feels full. Happy. I look at these boys and the love that I feel for them brings tears to my eyes. Then I go speechless. The words won't come out. To try and put into words the way I feel about these boys seems like an insurmountable task.

The last couple months of my life have been very up and down. The things that kept me grounded, waking up in the morning and smiling were those boys above. Times when I felt like nothing in my life was good, like nothing was happy. They would remind me day in and day out with a simple "I love you", "mamamamama" or even just a smile, hug or giggle.

There have been some dark days. Days where I would just cry and cry at night. I would sneak into Kasen's room and get into bed with him and just hold him and cry. He never woke up, never even realized I was there. Just being around him and next to him reminded me how blessed I am. There are times when I just cuddle Quinn in his glider and rock back and forth. Where I just go in, shut the door, and hold him. He reminds me that there IS good in my life. No matter how messed up everything else in my life may seem. Those little boys are some of the biggest blessings to ME.

Kasen has such attitude, spunk and enthusiasm. He is a character and definitely picked up the Campbell trait of sarcasm. I can joke with him, be silly with him, and even tell him about my day and he will be happy and excited. I really feel like he is our son to keep us patient, loving and laughing.

Quinn is such a cheery, happy go lucky little boy. He is so easy going and is always being silly. He is a total mamas boy right now and I have to admit, I LOVE it. He cuddles me, loves me, and pokes me. All things that just make me smile. I really feel like he is my son to make me feel loved, patient and blessed.

I snuck into the boys rooms tonight to take those pictures of them sleeping. I love them when they are sleeping. My love grows even more for them while they are sleeping! lol...

Really though? They are my world. No matter how they got here, no matter how they became my children, I am a changed woman because of them. I am better, wiser, more loving, more patient, and more blessed. As much as they can drive me crazy at times, I would never ever give them away. Even though I say I want to rent them out sometimes. Children are a complete miracle.

"While we try to teach our children about life, our children are teaching us what life is about."

Lately I've been pondering on the important things in my life. What I want, what I need, what I have...I just feel so blessed with what I have. Pondering on the things I don't have has gotten me nowhere. Well nowhere good at least. I want to be in a good place. I want to be happy with my life just as it is. I want to know that if I die tomorrow I can be grateful for what I did have. I don't have all the things I feel I need in my life. But I am learning to grow and accept that I don't need them to be happy. I just need to be grateful for what I do have. I have been blessed with so much throughout my life. If the things I want and feel I need do come to me, then I will be forever grateful. If they don't I know I may not ever understand why, or what for, but I know that I can trust the Lord and his timeline.

The past couple weeks my family has been waking up 10 minutes earlier in the morning to read scriptures together. It's hard, I find myself wanting to make excuses, but once I find my way out of bed? I am so grateful I did. The first day I noticed a huge difference. I was happy. Just in general had a good day. It has now become part of our daily routine and I don't ever want it to stop. This is one of the things I have to be grateful for.

I have decided that this year, one of my new years resolutions is to be grateful. So to end my post, I will give you the top 25 things I am grateful for in my life.

In no particular order:

1. Family Scripture Reading

2. My boys. Jeremy, Kasen and Quinn.

3. My faith in the Lord

4. a home to live in

5. my dog Bailey

6. a working car to get me and my fam places

7. water

8. visiting teachers

9. modern medicine

10. my camera

11. the atonement

12. my parents and siblings

13. smoothies

14. Jeremy's job

15. my good friends

16. clocks

17. music

18. temples

19. love

20. flowers

21. quinns nursery leader

22. kasens bff

23. Park Lane

24. good neighbors

25. the priesthood

Chip Chop

Well it's only taken me a week to get used to my all time shortest haircut! The first day I couldnt decide whether I liked it or not...2nd day, same. Third day HATED it, and completely regretted cutting it at all. Since then my attitude has changed quite a bit. I am in love with it now!!!! LOVE.

Can't. Stop. Thinking.

These are things I Can't. Stop. Thinking. about...


1. I got my first recruit! I am so excited. Jewels By Park Lane is such a fun job for me! I get paid to party and a good friend of mine is joining. She will do GREAT at it and I can't wait to see her succeed!

2. How can I get more people to book a show? What do I need to bribe? lol I need to find a way to get outside Power Ranch and get bookings that way...

3. I do get stessed by my job, but I love it. LOVE it. I get stressed by being a mom too, but I LOVE that as well. I think everyone gets stressed by their work at times. Doesn't mean I want to quit. That's a different level of stress that I haven't hit.

4. I really need to get my poof ball of a new hair cut thinned! Thank Heavens for Angie! She will be thinning it tomorrow for me!

5. My diabetes are back. They were gone after I had Quinn. They are now back. Full force and I am working hard to get them under control. I have a ton of mixed emotions about it and have been having a hard time accepting the fact that I am 29 and diabetic. I've started my meds again and I can already feel the difference. I've been on them a week and the last 2 days I have been starting to feel more and more like myself again. I've been in a rut lately, and I think it was because of my untreated diabetes. I am taking care of that now, and I am on track! Jeremy has been a really great support to me this past week while dealing with all of my emotions and helping me move on...thanks babe! I love you forever!

6. I REALLY need to put away the two baskets of clean and now WRINKLED clothes away that are sitting next to my bed. I see it, get overwhelmed and then move on to something else. I just need to face it, and do it! Then mop the floor too!

7. We are getting a 2nd car in about a week and a half and I cannot wait! I was a little worried that we couldn't afford it, but I know now that with my paycheck, we will be able to do it and then I will have some FREEDOM. Not that I want to drive the car somewhere everyday, but it sure will be nice knowing I can if I want to!

8. I really need to start taking more pictures. My kids, especially Quinn are growing up and changing way too fast and I need to be better about taking little videos and pictures to remember their sweet faces and personalities at every stage!

9. I went to curriculum night last night and I must admit....I really REALLY like Kasen's teacher this year. I was so sad when I found out that none of his friends were in his class, but he is making new ones and this teacher is MEANT for Kasen. She is very loving and warm and Kasen needs that. So happy with her.

10. I need to go to the post office. Quinn broke a piece of my jewelry and I get to send it back for free and get a new one, woo hoo! Glad tomorrow is Thursday and I have a car tomorrow! :)

1st Day of 1st Grade!

ok seriously? What happened to my little 2 year old starting his 1st year of preschool? Now he has started 1st grade! How and when did this happen? It seems like the journey to get him here to earth was longer than the almost 6 years he has been alive! It's gone way too fast and I don't like it one bit! Preschool- Mrs Cassie, Age 2

Preschool- Mrs Cassie, Age 3

Kindergarten- Mrs. Bianco, Age 4

1st grade Ms Annesi, Age 5



This is the little Kasen I remember....

This is how I remember Kasen. Not as the big 1st grader, but as a little toddler still. I guess I can't make him stop growing, so we will just have to grow and love every stage!

Kasen,

You are so big and strong. You grow more and more each day. You are so loving and kind and I'm proud to be your mommy. I know you will do so geat this year as a 1st grader. You have the potential to do anything you set your mind to and I think you are starting to realize that. You are amazing. You are wise beyond your years. Sometimes I love that, but sometimes I hate that! :)

I am so glad that I will be here to watch you grow into a wonderful, handsome, loving young man! I love you dooder!

Love always,

Mommy

Hello, How are you?

Quinn turned 1 last week and decided to show us how he can talk too! My kids first 4 word sentence!!

My Room

This is what I made today. I have been working little by little, project by project, craft by craft to make our house cuter. I decided the bedroom needed some serious help. So...this is what I did for starters.
I bought some blank canvas' and some fabric to cover them in. Of course since it's me, there was NO sewing involved in any of this. Staple gun and pins. That's it. Oh and a hot glue gun too. Used a hot glue gun and some extra coordinating fabric to make some rosettes.

pinned some pleats, then stapled it in the back and took the pins out and wa la, it stayed!

scrapbook ribbon for the bow

used my cricut to print vinyl for the "love"

Finished product hanging above my bed! I am quite proud of myself. I love and it and get this, the hubs does too!!!!! Yaay for me!

Get a Grip

I think its time for a new tennis racket. It isn't 1998 anymore and my hands are proof that my tennis racket IS from 1998! We went and played for a while the other night and the grip was shredding off into my hands. The frame is now cracked. Too bad my birthday isn't til October! lol...