I shall overcome...

I will just state the fact, then go back to the beginning.

I have diabetes.

When I was pregnant with Kasen I had gestational diabetes. I learned then that since I had that, there was a very high chance that I would get it with every pregnancy thereafter. I also learned that there was a high chance of getting Type 2 Diabetes later on in life. Little did I know that I would be diagnosed 3 years later.

After I had Kasen my diabetes went away as they should since gestational diabetes are pregnancy induced. I have been checked every 6 months since I had Kasen. There has never been a sign. Until 4 weeks ago.

For the past few months I had been getting sick every time I eat. EVERY time. I would just a significant amount of pain in my stomach. The pain would vary in degrees, but was NEVER comfortable. I learned to hide it and move on. About a month about the pain was getting so bad that I avoided eating. When I did eat, I would be balled up on the couch in so much pain that I couldn't help but cry. For some time I though maybe it was lactose problems, since I am lactose intolerant as well. I am physically a mess. But even when I would go without dairy, the pain was still there going strong. We don't have any health insurance right now so I avoided going to the Dr. I finally gave in when one day it was so bad that I couldnt even move. I layed on the couch for 2 hours, crying and decided enough was enough. I called the local clinic who was able to see me the next day for a small fee. When I was there the Dr told me that I had gastritis. Which is a stomach infection. He wasn't sure what it was from, but gave me medicine to treat it. He ran some blood tests while I was there just to make sure it was nothing more serious. I was unaware of the tests that he was running. He had only mentioned liver tests, thyroid, and kidney. Nothing about my sugar.

Later that week, the clinic called me and told me they couldnt give me the results of my blood tests over the phone. They set my appt up for 3 weeks out. I knew something was wrong because the Dr told me while I was there that they would either tell me everything was ok, or set up an appt for me to come in and get the results.

I went in this morning with Jeremy and Kasen. They were my support. Jeremy was my rock. They weighed me when I got in there, the good news was, I had lost another 2 lbs. I am at a total weight loss of ****28 pounds**** GO ME! That was a nice thing to hear considering all that was to come.

The Dr and his NP student came in and gave me the news that my sugar was really high, but all the other blood tests that they ran came back normal. They tested my blood while I was there with the glucometer. It was still high. I didn't ask the number. I didn't want to know. I knew what was going on, I knew what I had to do, and I wasn't going to ask. They continued to tell me that I will be put on medication. Metformin. That's what I was on while trying to get pregnant with Kasen. I stayed on that until 3 months into my pregnancy. Then when I found out that I had gestational diabetes, they put me on a safer form.

This is something that I was aware might happen, but never thought it would. My dad has type 2 and I know that it is genetic. Hereditary, whatever. My dad has handled his very well, and I did the same while I was pregnant. My dad was told that 98% of having diabetes is hereditary and 2% is diet control and exercise. I know I can manage this, and I know that this is something I can get through. Jeremy was so sweet to me. He came up and held me and told me we were going to get through this...TOGETHER. That meant so much coming from him since he doesn't always express his feelings verbally. I know that our family can get through this and I pray that I will be able to manage and control as well as I did when I was pregnant.

A few scriptures come to mind....

D&C 63:47 He that is faithful and endureth shall overcome the world.

D&C 24:8 Be Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days.

This is a life altering disease. It's something that is going to affect my life forever. Something I will always struggle with, something I will always have hanging over me. Something very serious if I don't take care of it. I am upset, and depressed about this. BUT...I know that this IS something I can overcome, and that this is something not only my family will help me through, but most importantly, The Lord. I know that through him I can be made whole. That I will be able to manage this on my own, that I won't need insulin, and that I will live a full and happy life.

So yeah, I know I can do this, and thank you everyone in advance for your support. I have done this before, I can do this again!