Friday, July 27, 2007

So You Think You Can Dance

Last season of "So you think you can dance" Crystal and I both applied for tickets to go see the show which tapes in LA. We didn't ever hear back from them until a few weeks ago. I got 4 tickets and Crystal got 2.

We left around 11 am. Got there around 1pm. Stood outside until about 4pm. Got inside and stoof until about 7pm. My legs, specifically my knees felt like they were going to snap in half from standing so long. They do have seats in the audience but they are mainly for handicapped people, friends and family of the dancers, and the choreographers. So we stood along side of the stage.

It was really fun to go see the dancers and to cheer for all of our favorites. The only annoying part was Cat Deeley getting her make up done every 5 minutes out on stage, each judges 5 minute long comments and having to cheer in scream on demand in about 6 different stage colors ranging from aqua to mulberry. So lame! Oh yeah and at the end of the show they made us cheer while they zoomed in on EACH persons sign that they brought so they could use the clips of the signs during the dancers dance. Very staged. But it was still fun!!

This is outside of The Cheesecake Factory in LA at "THE GROVE" which is an upscale mall by the studios. While we were standing in line waiting for our table at the restaraunt I was thinking to myself...."wouldn't it be cool if I saw someone famous walk by?" not more than 5 minutes later I saw Matthew Perry walk by with a couple friends. It was so cool to see a famous person! LoL...I was star struck!

My mom and her friend Kristi went. Me and my friend Gaylynn went. Crystal and Zac went. I think Gaylynn was in the bathroom while we took these pictures.

Trip to Utah

Kasen and I went out to Utah a little bit ago and it was really fun because we got to see family. Jeremy's parents and little brother were in town from WA at the same time that we were there so we went to see them as well. Jeremy's family put Kasen and I up in a hotel and even paid for us to fly out there so that we could see them.

Kasen has a cousin (jeremys brothers son) who is about 2 months younger than Kasen is and they never really get to see each other because we live here in Cali and they live there in Utah. Well they got a full weeks time together and I really think they made good buddies! Kasen still asks from him and we have been home almost a week.

This is a cute pic of Kasen in our hotel bed. Well HIS hotel bed. We got 2 doubles so we wouldn't have to share. Even though he had his own, he still slept on the very edge. He is ALMOST as white as the bed sheets. ALMOST.

Kangaroo Zoo

While we were in Utah Nichole and my mother in law and I took the older boys to a place called Kangaroo Zoo. They had a bunch of inflatable bouncies. They all pretty much had a slide, but some had obstacle courses, walls to climb, or ropes to climb. Kasen and Braxton had such a great time. That was probably my favorite thing we did while I was there. Don't get me wrong I LOVED all the shopping we did too, but I love seeing my little boy laugh and run and giggle with delight more than ANYTHING. It makes me so happy to see him so happy and it made me even happier to see Nichole so happy to see Braxton the same way. Our cheeks hurt by the end of the night because we were smiling and laughing so much. Here are some pictures. Hopefully you can smile like we did!

A little explanation on this one...Kasen, the smarty pants that he is...figured out that if he put his legs together and his arms flat to his side, while laying down, would make him go a LOT faster! This is the best picture I had of it, but it doesn't show it all that well because he was at the end and was starting to sit up at this point which is why his head is up and his arms and legs are spread. My kid is so smart! lol....

Gotta love the bright green socks that we had to buy in order for them to play since we didn't have any with us. $2! Can you believe that?!

Thanksgiving Point

Here are a few pictures from our trip with Braxton (kasens cousin) to Thanksgiving Point animal farm.

Braxton and Kasen feeding the goats at Thanksgiving Point.
Kasen and Grandpa looking over the edge at the chickens.
Kasen riding a pony, he wanted to ride on the biggest one and I actually got a smile out of him this time.
This is my sweet sister in law Nichole and her baby Isaac. So cute.


Just wanted to share with everyone that Jeremy got a full time job and we are now fully employed!! Woo hoo!! What a relief. Our prayers have been answered. Thank you to all of you who have prayed for us, or helped give us job leads. We appreciate it.

Jeremy will be working for a company called Biosite. It's in Sorrento Valley. He plans on taking the coaster down, so that he wont have to make the commute in our crappy car. He will be working in software validation project management. The company makes medical diagnostic testing equipment.

I am so proud of him and so happy for him! I love him dearly! Yaay for Jeremy!

Brain Cancer

A few weeks ago on the 4th of July, Jeremys cousin Geraldine and her family (husband and 2 daughters) were visiting her parents in Oregon. Geraldine lives in Sacramento now, and has no family near by. They went to her parents home for the holiday. As they were all sitting there at dinner in the 4th, her speech started to slur and she lost control of the left side of her body.

She was immediately rushed to the hospital where they found a tumor in her (right lobe?) brain the size of a golfball. They took her into emergency surgery the very next day. They removed her tumor, but had to wait a week or so to find out if it was cancerous...Geraldine is only like 24. After her tumor was removed, the same day she started have seizures. They put her on seizure medicine, but isn't able to drive for at least a year. Can you imagine having 2 little ones and not being able to drive?

After the surgery, she started staying at her parents home in oregon, and was planning on staying 4-6 weeks. Her mom is helping take care of the kids while Geraldine is recovering.

A couple weeks have gone by and her husband finally went back home to Sacramento. When he got home they had several messages from the hospital in Oregon. Apparently they were trying to get ahold of Geraldine. Her father (Jeremy's uncle) rushed her to the hospital. It turns out that Geraldine has a very agressive type of brain cancer and is going to have to undergo radiation and chemotherapy, among other things.

She will be going back to California now and her husbands mother is flying in from Argentina and will be staying with her and their family until October.

I can't even imagine the pain and heartache their family is going through. I know that the Lord will look out for them, and watch over them. I know that whatever happens in this situation is the Lord's will. He will take care of ALL of us either way. My prayers are with her and her family, and I have already put there name in at the San Diego Temple. If any of you feel inclined to pray for them or to enter their names in at your temple, all the support is appreciated!

Friday, July 6, 2007

Silly Kasen moments...

Now that Kasen is getting older and talking more and more everyday, he says some of the funniest things. The one that made me want to write this blog was last night.

We had just gotten home from Chuck E Cheese and Kasen had some soda there. He was burping a lot. He says excuse me after he does it, then announces, "I burt" "I burt" its very cute. Well last night he farted, and looked around at everyone in the room and said "I burt"..."mommy! I burt in my pants!" He thought he burped in his pants. It was the funniest thing.

Another thing that is cute is, on Sunday...we pulled into the parking lot at church. Jeremy turned the car off and opened the door to get out. Kasen said "daddy wait! say a prayer first" I just kinda laughed and opened my door to get out too. Again he said it, "I wanna say a prayer first" so we all got back in the car, shut the doors and said a prayer. As soon as the prayer was over, Kasen said "there! we can go to church now" How cute is that? He asked to say a prayer before we went in to church!

The other day my mom took Kasen over to our neighbors house while they were out of town. My mom is housesitting from across the street and Kasen loves to go on walks. My mom had to go over there and Kasen said "I go to Pam and Kristi's house too?" My mom couldn't resist so she let him go. She opened the door and walked in....Kasen followed behind and looked around and turned to my mom and said "it's nice in here" how does a 2 year old know that sort of stuff?

Thats all I can think of right now, but he is such a cutie and says the silliest things sometimes.

Thursday, July 5, 2007


All day long I kept telling Kasen we were going to go to the fireworks. That they were loud, but they were pretty so it was ok. He is really afraid of loud noises. He kept talking about them, not even knowing what they were. We went with my family and some of our friends met us there. This is a picture of Kasen, waiting patiently for us to leave the house.

Del Mar Fair

I haven't been to the Del Mar Fair since like 8th grade. This year I went TWICE. We went the first time with two other couples MINUS the kids. Which was really nice to have a break. But once I got there and saw all the cool stuff, I felt totally guilty for leaving Kasen at home. I knew he would have had so much fun. Don't get me wrong, I still had fun without him. We all decided to go back a few days later and bring the kids this time.

Kasen and Daddy watching the monster trucks give rides. We actually went back later and watched a little bit of the show. Kasen freaked out everytime one of them would rev their engines. He couldn't see the trucks, only hear them. I calmed him down and explained to him what the noises were and so we went into the stadium, me constantly reminding him that it was going to be loud, but it was ok...they were jus trucks. As soon as the trucks started racing again, Kasen was ok with the loud noises because he knew they were just trucks. He enjoyed watching them race and do jumps. He clapped when it was over!

Kasens first pony ride. Being the paranoid mom that I am, my stomach was in KNOTS for Kasen. I wasn't sure how he was going to handle riding on a live animal, but he loved it. He thought it was "really cool"

Kasen enjoyed feeding the goats and sheep. He got a little nervous when like 3 or 4 of them started to circle and sniff his clothes and try to eat his hand. :)

This was Kasen and Lucs first rollercoaster. They love hanging out together so it was only appropriate that they share their first rollercoaster ride together too. They didn't even hesitate to jump up and climb in. I was quite surprised. Kasen is really coming out of his shell.

I took several pictures of Kasen on the rollercoaster. He was smiling and laughing in EVERY single picture. It was so neat to see him have so much fun. SO neat, that it made me cry. Lame, I know. But the joys of motherhood. I know how my mom feels now. It overwhelmed me with joy to see my son SOOOO happy. I loved it. Yes, once again, I cried when my son rode a rollercoaster.

This one is for you Lyle. (Grandpa Bruce)....yeah yeah I know they are marines...but I thought you would still appreciate the picture.

David and Luc...Jeremy and Kasen.
Walking anxiously to the next ride!

This was probably Kasens favorite ride. If you can call it that. He loved it so much he went on it twice. He loves slides and this was just the extreme of all slides ever to him. He was all smiles the whole way down! Just like his daddy. So cute.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

The Miracle of Life (long)

So, because of some personal stuff going on lately, I have grown even more appreciation for my son. I just wanted to let everyone know how much of a miracle he is in my life. How much I needed him to be here with me and how much he means to me.

From the day Jeremy and I both mutually agreed to stop taking the pill and start trying to get pregnant, we knew it wouldn't be easy. The Dr. had told me that I would have a hard time conceiving before I even got married. At my premarital Dr appt, my Dr diagnosed me with PCOS. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Little did I know what an impact it would have on me and my WHOLE life. It's kind of funny. People are so naive (including myself) when it comes to trying to get pregnant. Unless they have already had a child, or are educated on the subject. A lot of people think that just a man and woman getting together are enough. That's what I thought was going to happen.

When 3 months passed, and no baby, I decided to go see a doctor. Just a normal ob/gyn. At the time I was living in Utah and the Dr. wasn't helpful at all. Even with my previous diagnosis, he was unable to help me. Finally after my 2nd appt to go see him, he gave me some Clomid. Which is a medicine taken on certain days of your period, that is supposed to induce ovulation. My dr didn't even monitor me (which is normal protocol when taking clomid) to make sure the medicine was working. I ovulated. I was charting my temperatures each day and I ovulated. I was SO happy. We took the measures we needed to, and felt for sure that this was the month we were going to get pregnant. Well 3 cycles later of being on Clomid, ovulating, doing what we needed to do, we were left feeling hopeless. At this point, 3 cycles is as long as a couple can be on clomid without taking a couple month break. In the meantime Jeremy was tested to make sure everything was ok there. It was ok, not great, but ok. By the time my next cycle came around, Jeremy had graduated from BYU and it was time for us to move to California.

In April 2003, we moved to California and Jeremy and I were blessed with immediate jobs. However, we were both hired on through temp agencies and only had minimal benefits. We continued actively trying on our own hoping to see that BFP. (big fat positive). It never came. Jeremy was finally hired on through his work and because of where we lived, his only insurance options was a company called Kaiser Permanente. Which was fine, we were just happy to have REAL health insurance. By recommendation from my sister, who has donated eggs before, we went to go see a fertility specialist. This is what we were waiting for. This was the biggest step we needed to take in being that much closer to having a baby. This is exactly what we were praying for. To get insurance so that we could go see a RE. (reproductive endocrinologist)

I called to make my appt with the RE. They were booking a month out. I was very disappointed, but still hopeful. The appt was there, in the system. I was going to get help. We were going to see a Dr about a baby. My appt finally came around in October 2003. We met with the Dr, went over all the options, and went with the most productive option at that point. FSH injections and an IUI. When the insurance consultant came in to discuss the cost with us, she asked for our insurance cards. We gave them to her. She looked at them and asked if we had any other insurance. Jeremy and I looked at each other dumbfounded and said in unison "no" The consultant continued to explain to us that since we had Kaiser, and they were a hmo, that we could only go to a Kaiser facility to receive the appropriate insurance benefits. San Diego Fertility Center was not affiliated with Kaiser. What? Now what? How could this be happening? All our hopes were basically crushed when the consultant told us how much all the procedures, meds, and injections would cost out of pocket. We left upset. Me crying, Jeremy bummed. Both of us thinking we were never going to have a child.

How come we didn't go to Kaiser for treatment? Well our new Dr at SDFC told us that he has had hundreds of patients go through the procedure at Kaiser and a year later, we just starting the process of injections. It had already been a year and a half of trying. We didn't want to wait another year, we wanted a baby and we wanted a baby now. (I have now learned trying for our second how horrible Kaiser is in helping get people pregnant).

Jeremy and I went home that night feeling terrible and terrified. We talked about all the options of how we could raise $5000 dollars up front. ($3,000 for the meds and procedures which was needed up front, $2,000 worth of lab bills) I even talked about selling my wedding ring, that I knew how much Jeremy loved me and I didn't need a ring to prove it. Jeremy of course wouldn't let me do that, which to this day I am grateful for. I talked to my mom that night and just cried and cried expressing to her my concern that Jeremy and I would NEVER be able to have children because of all the medical problems and because we couldn't afford it. She started crying as well, feeling helpless and not knowing what to say to comfort me. She started to try and come up with solutions, one of which was to donate $1,500 dollars of the $3,000 we needed up front. My mom is wonderful. She would do anything to make her children happy. She saw the pain and heartache I was going through and then offered to call Jeremys mom for the other $1,500. I talked to Jeremy and with little hesitance accepted my moms offer. She called Jerralyn (jeremys mom) later that night and explained to her the situation. I don't remember if Jeremy's mom even knew we were trying to get pregnant, but when she found out she was more than willing to help out. She wanted what was best for her son, and me, and wanted to see us happy just as my mom did. She agreed to paying the other half of the upfront money. What wonderful mothers we have. They were BOTH an answer to our prayers. Literally. We were praying for a way to fund this procedure, and our angels (mom and mom) came to us with a solution.

We called the fertility center the next day and told them we wanted to move on with the procedure. They set me up with another appt to go over some tests that would need to be taken on both of our behalf's to move forward. We took the test, got the results and went from there.

It's now about the end of Jan. 2004. I am on so many medications that I don't know what is what anymore. I am waiting for my period to come and it won't. The dr finally had to give me medicine to induce my period. And it all started from there.

So many prayers, SO many appts, classes and tests.

Once it got down to the nitty gritty, it was about a two week process before we were able to find out if Jeremy and I's wish would come true. If we were going to be parents. If some little child would someday call me their mother and jeremy their father.

The procedure? The process? Well Jeremy and I were both working during all of this and I am surprised by all the work we missed. Once the process started we were driving to Carmel Valley (about 30 minutes from work) every other day. My day at the Dr was not a fun one. I would go, get my blood drawn, get a vaginal ultrasound, and then go home later that night to receive my injection. The injections were given in the thigh and since I couldn't reach that, Jeremy had to give them to me. The first injection he gave me I screamed so loud and flinched so hard because the meds burned SOOOOO bad, that I moved my leg and the needle came right out of my leg. Jeremy had to inject me again to push the rest of the medicine through. I was crying so hard. From the time you mix the medicine, you have 15 minutes to inject or it goes bad. I think every single night I sat there and cried counting to 3 over and over again for Jeremy to do it, but I think I went to the max of 14 minutes just about every time before I would let Jeremy inject. I had those injections every day for 12 days. Given at the same time every night.

Every time that Jeremy and I would inject, go to an appt, go to the lab for a blood draw, we would say a prayer. I know that Heavenly Father had such a huge part in this whole process.

After 12 days of injections I went in for my ultrasound and they said I was ready for the insemination. The gave me a shot in the thigh again to induce ovulation. The next day I came in for the insemination. They left my 2 eggs be, and injected Jeremy's sperm through a catheter. That was the day I ovulated. The day after I ovulated, they did another insemination. Then we were left with the 2WW. (2 week wait)

11 days after my insemination I took a pregnancy test at home and it was negative. I was going in for a blood test on Wed, and it was now Sunday. I was devastated. After all the time, emotion effort and money, it was negative. I was never going to be a mom. Even drastic measures couldn't ensure me that calling in life. To be a mom.

On wed, when I woke up for work, I decided to soften the blow of a negative blood test and take a home pregnancy test first so that I could come to terms with it being negative before my appt at the lab. It was about 6:15 am, I had to be to work at 7, and here I was peeing on a stick. Fully knowing that it was going to be negative. Jeremy was in the other room ironing his shirt getting for work also. I took the test, and sat it on the counter next to me. Unable to move, I sat there on the toilet for all 3 minutes. The LONGEST 3 minutes of my life. I finally said a prayer, and looked at the test. WHAT!? Two lines? How could it be? I had tested the other day and there was only one line. Where did that other line come from? I started to get REALLY mad, what a sick joke. After two years of taking negative after negative. I wouldn't allow myself to accept those 2 lines. I yelled at Jeremy, made him bring me the phone, still unable to get off the toilet and I called my mom. It was 6:18 in the morning and I was calling my mom because I thought someone (the pregnancy test) was playing a sick joke on me. I told my mom there were two lines there and her voice started to raise in excitement. What? How can she be happy. This is all just mean. I finally got off the phone with her and we went to the lab. They drew my blood and the test was ordered STAT. (right away) So...I just went to work and tried to get something done. Around 2:30 that afternoon, the Dr's office called me with the results. It indeed was a positive. I started crying, couldn't stop laughing, and was raising my voice in excitement just as my mom had done earlier that morning. I was going to be a mom! Jeremy and I were going to be parents. All of my dreams had come true. There was a baby growing inside of me and that was the best feeling ever, even if I had no signs of it yet.

That my friends is how I became pregnant. Jeremy and I went through so much to bring Kasen into this world and I am so grateful for him every single time I look at him. I still can't believe he is mine. I have never gotten over that feeling from day 1. It's so hard for me to grasp the miracle of life.

When I have more time, I will get into my pregnancy and his birth. He really is a miracle baby.