Friday, June 26, 2009

So content...

I am so content with my life right now. Of course there are things that I wish were better, and there are things I never thought could be this good...but overall? I am so content. How could I not be with these sweet faces to call my sons? I was talking to my dad today and I mentioned something about my "kids" he just laughed and said "isn't that so weird to say that?" It really really is. I can't believe after all this time I finally have "kids" not just a KID like it has been for the past 4.5 years. I have "kids" not a ton, only 2, but thats perfect for us right now.

Both these pics were taken today. Kasen is such an awesome big brother.

He really likes to take care of Quinn. It makes him feel so grown up and its SUCH a help to me. I asked him to watch crying Quinn this morning for a minute while I finished something. Kasen went and got his new musical doggy and played the music and just sat next to him rubbing his head with one hand and holding his paci in his mouth with the other hand. It was such a sweet sight for me. I love that Quinn is only 2.5 weeks old and the bond is already forming. The love is already growing. Im ejoying this while I can, cause I know they won't always be so loving towards each other! :)

Look how much darker Quinn is than Kasen! Cracks me up. I think Quinn go his Grandpa Campbells skin coloring. It hasn't lightened a bit since he was born. Kasen was already white by this time. I have a little hope for one not so albino child. Yaay!

I took this on my cell phone this morning. Im in love with this pic, and most importantly in LOVE with these boys!

Fathers Day

Since Quinn wasn't even 2 weeks old at the time, Jeremy and Kasen only went to church on Fathers Day. It was nice. It gave me time to make some last minute preps on his gifts from the boys. The boys. I love saying that. Anyway...

Kasen and I spent some time together making a couple gifts for daddy. Quinn sat and watched. With his eyes closed. :)

I was able to get them finished and on display by the time Kasen and Jeremy got home from church. Kasen was so proud so see it all put together and sitting out for daddy. Daddy was so happy and proud to get it too. It was a win win situation!
We made him a magnetic bookmark. Its a piece of cardstock folded in half with a magnet on each side on the inside. There is a pic of the 3 boys on it and a rub on that says "my heart belongs to daddy" You wrap the cardstock on the page you are on and it magnetizes through the page. Hopefully that makes sense. We also made Jeremy a poem with a frame. Kasen COMPLETELY decorated the frame himself. (a little help with the glue) he picked out EVERYTHING to go on the frame and where it went. He felt very "in control" and that was nice for him. Made him feel like a big boy.
Wonderful use of my Cricut!

Jeremy is such a great daddy, as I mentioned in my last post. He takes care of the boys whenever I need him too. He is very attentive (unless its 3am feedings) and never lets kasen feel left out. He is already very good about balancing his attention between the 3 of us. We are so grateful for him and all that he does for our family. We love him to death!! You are a better father than I could have imagined, and I had pretty high hopes for ya too! You have exceeded my expectations. I am so lucky. The boys are so lucky. Thank you!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

1 Week Old

Well I am sad to say my sweet little boy is 1 week old today...ALREADY! How can that be? Really. How is that? It goes by way too fast.

My parents left yesterday and Jer is back to work now. Today is going better than expected so far. I am feeling a little better everyday, but the bags under my eyes are getting a little more defined everyday. It's all worth it though. I love waking up with Quinn and just holding him and watching him.
So as for the labor part....

I was scheduled to be induced on Monday June 8th at 3pm. We checked into the hospital and things finally got started around 5. They checked me and put my IV in. I was still at a 3 and 75%. Same as the week before at my appt. After getting a hold of the Dr and getting the orders of what he wanted to do, it was now 6pm. The Dr wanted to use cervidil which is a medicine to help thin the cervix. They said it could take up to 12 hours for it to work and that I would feel some cramps with it. I was really discouraged. I just assumed that they would take me in and hook me right up to the pitocin. I was wrong. The nurse also told me that the cervidil could cause me to go into labor on my own at which point they would remove the cervidil and start the pit. I was really hoping for that.

At about 8pm the cramps were really bad. One CONSTANT cramp/contraction that wouldn't let up. It had been that way for about 2 hours since they inserted it. I finally asked for some sort of pain meds. She checked me and said I was a 4.5 and that I was having some contractions but they were going to keep the cervidil in for now. They didn't want to give me my epidural yet because they wanted to see more progress on the cervidil first. The nurse told me I could have staydol through my IV. I agreed seeing as how I was suffering...I had never had this medicine before. Within SECONDS I could feel the meds coming over my body from left to right. My whole body. It was the WORST feeling ever. I started to panic because it was taking over my body. I couldn't see straight. I started to get extremely dizzy. I started to cry and panic more. It sounds lame, but it was literally taking over my whole body. I felt claustrophobic and that was not ok with me. I started to get extremely nauseous. I couldn't keep my eyes open or even lift my head for about the next 2 hours. It was AWFUL! The nurse said she had never seen someone react this way to it, of course, and that she was sorry. Wasn't her fault. I just wanted it OUT of me. I just had to sit it out. Around 10pm, it was FINALLY starting to wear off, even though the nurse said it only lasts in your system about 45 minutes, and the Dr came in to check on me before going home for the night. He checked me and said I was still at a 4.5, but that my contractions were consistent enough on my own that he took the cervidil out and let me labor on my own.

At this point the Dr told me I was able to get an epidural which I didn't hesitate for. Around 10:30 I was starting to feel a bit more comfortable again.

Unfortunately, they let me labor on my own ALL night long at a 4.5 with on top of each other contractions. Again, unfortunately, when I was checked again at 6am I was still at a 4.5...bummer! The nurse said the Dr should be around for his morning rounds soon and we would wait for him to see what he wanted to do next. The Dr came around 6:30am and decided to break my water. WHAT A RELIEF!! They also decided to start me on pit. Finally, things were starting to happen and progress the way I had thought they would at 3pm the prior day!

Around 8am the nurse came and checked me and I was at a 6! It was working. Yaay! Around around 9:20 or so she checked me again and I was at an 8. At this point I called Autumn who was picking up Kasen and my mom and dropping her off at the hospital and told her to speed. That I wanted my mom there. I think I gave poor Autumn a heart attack. My mom too for that matter. She was so worried she was going to miss it and poor Autumn was so worried she was going to make my mom miss it. Around 9:40 I started feeling tons of pressure and knew it was time to push. I called the nurse in and she checked me and I was right...a 10! Ready to go. I text Autumn again and told her to SPEED SO FAST. Poor thing. lol....The nurse paged the Dr and told him to come over. She gave me 2 practice pushes to see how fast this would go, and after went to page the Dr again to tell him to hurry over. My mom ended up getting there a few minutes before the Dr. Once she got there I had to sit and wait with my legs in stirrups trying not to push. Thankfully the epidural makes it a lot easier not to push when you know you need to. The Dr came and I pushed 3 contractions worth and out came my sweet sweet baby boy. Quinn. He was born at 10:04am. I cried and cried seeing him come out and knowing that he was here. Finally here. Mine all mine! It seemed so surreal. It was an awesome feeling. I felt so blessed. I got to hold him on my chest for about 30 seconds until they whisked him away. He had a lot of fluid in his lungs making it hard fo him to breathe so they had to give him oxygen for a few minutes and suck out the fluid. It was about 30 more minutes before I was able to hold him again. Jeremy was an awesome photographer though and took TONS of great pictures for me and kept coming over to show them to me. What a great husband! Such a proud daddy too. He kept saying "I know I slacked with the pictures and Kasen's birth, so I'm not going to do that again" He took over 100 pictures that day!

I am so grateful and blessed to have my little Quinn here with us. To have him as part of our family. I am so grateful that Jeremy and I are able to raise him and take care of him. I know that I owe all my thanks to my Heavenly Father. Without Him, my little man wouldn't be here.

With all that being said...I can't believe a week has gone by ALREADY!
At this point Quinn is:

*Sleeping like a champ. I have to wake him to feed him every 3 hours.
*Eating fairly well too. He nurses a LOT better than Kasen ever did and for that I am grateful. (helps that he was full term and not a preemie like Kasen)
*Pooping and Peeing ALL the time. Or so Kasen thinks. :)
*Giving sweet heart melting smiles in his sleep
*Passing lots of gas. He really is a Campbell.
I can't believe he is mine! All mine. I'm in love.

Kasen is being very helpful. He loves his brother to death. I haven't seen as much jealousy as I was worried about. Not yet anyway. He gives him kisses every night before he goes to bed, along with telling him he loves him. He rubs his head when he cries and makes sure he always has his bear with him when we leave the house. (It just sits on the top of his car seat, but thats ok with Kasen). He brings me diapers, helps pick out this clothes and even puts his paci in when he "thinks" he needs it.

I am so grateful for my 2 boys. They are my blessings and miracles.

As for daddy...

He has been NOTHING but attentive to me. He has helped way more than I could have ever imagined. He is amazing. For the first 5 days I didn't change a single diaper. NOT ONE! He was the only one changing him. Every single diaper. Getting me whatever I needed, waking up with me at night when I fed Quinn. He has done so much. He deserves Father of the Year award as far as I'm concerned. He hasn't judged me when I cry for no reason, he hasn't shunned me when I was grumpy for no reason, he hasn't told me NO when I ask him for things repeatedly. He is just the best.

Thank you babe for all you have done for me and our little family. We are forever grateful. We love you so much and count down the hours til you get home from work and we can all be together again. Our sweet family of 4.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Quinn Campbell Bruce

Quinn Campbell Bruce is here! He is perfect in every way. Of course. I just spend a while uploading pics of him on my facebook so for now blogger will have to wait. I will post a couple though for now, but feel free to look at my facebook for more.

He was born Tuesday at 10:04am. Weighing 7.9 and is 21 in long. He looks just like Kasen. He has a few of his own features but you sure can tell they are brothers!

We are doing well. Just trying to recover and enjoy the last few days my mom is here. My dad is here too and they are staying through monday. Jer goes back to work on Monday so on Tuesday it's back to the normal routine. It's gone by way too fast.

But for is my sweet precious adorable Quinn.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

My Last Weekend with 1 kid!

This has been my last weekend with 1 kid. I am being induced tomorrow. I am not excited to be induced, but I am SO excited to see my sweet baby boy who is such a miracle to me. I wish I could have gone on my own, but the induction is for the best for me and my baby boy. Yes, some consider me lucky for getting to go 9 days early. I do feel lucky as well, but having to be induced isn't all that exciting to me. Especially considering they are for health reasons. Oh well, I am not going to try and one up anyone and say I have it so bad cause I know it could be worse, but I do just want to say, it has NOT been easy. None of this has. Getting pregnant, staying pregnant, being pregnant. It's not easy for me. I consider this my biggest trial in life. I will tell you what though...I have learned, and grown, leaps and bounds from this trial.

My mom was telling me about a thing that her friend did in relief society last week. Everyone took a piece of paper and wrote down their biggest trial. Folded it up and turned it in. They then passed around the basked and everyone picked out someone elses. After reading the trial, they were to decide if they wanted to trade their trial for the others. What an eye opener. I don't like ANY of what I have to go through to bring one of God's precious children into this world. I will say that I know it could be a LOT worse and that makes me SO grateful for what I do go through. I think in the end it makes ME appreciate my miracle that much more. Makes me realize the hand that the Lord has in bringing this sweet spirit into my life. Our lives.

So anyway, I don't want to compare my trial to anyone elses. I am just going to say its been a ROUGH ROUGH over 3 years, 3 miscarriages and 3 failed fertility treatments to get to this point of where I am at now. I also know it could be worse. Way worse. I have heard worse and know worse from others close to me. I am grateful for what I go through. Remind me of this blog next time we start trying to get pregnant. I really am grateful that it's not worse. I have been taught a lot. Relying on the Lord is the most important thing I have learned. It's all up to him. I am grateful to him for my blessings. For my life. For my family.

With that said.....

Im being induced tomorrow at 3pm!!!!!!

I finally get to meet this sweet little miracle, hold him, squeeze him and kiss him. Tell him how much I love him and have wanted him to be here. For so long.

It still just seems so surreal after all this time, and after all we have been through. It just seems like words. I am going to have a baby tomorrow. It doesn't seem real. Doesn't seem like an action that is really going to take place. I am very open to it though! :)

I will update as soon as I can with pictures and how everything went. For now? I need to go spend a little time with Kasen before his world is turned upside down tomorrow.

Once again, I am SO grateful for where I am and what is going on. ;)

Kasen giving his baby brother Quinn some kisses.

Last family picture with 3

Me and my sweetest boy Kasen

White me and Orange mom....don't ask!

Here it belly at 38.5 weeks...

Last Girls Night Out

Those last two posts were the highlights of May for me...

Now on to the beginning of June.

On Thursday, Autumn put together a little GNO for me. This was and will be my last one for a while. Quinn can come with me, but this was my last SOLO one for a while. It was so much fun.

When Autumn asked me where I wanted to go, I didn't even hesitate. NIELSENS!!! Jeremy was a little annoyed that I decided so quickly seeing as how usually it takes about 7-8 restaurant decisions before I can finally settle on something. That night it just sounded really good so I was able to decide fast. Sorry Jer. lol....

We all met up and got some tasty food along with some DELICIOUS fry sauce. We then of course had dessert. Frozen Custard!! So good, but my sugar suffered the WHOLE next day for it. So did my stomach. Next time I will get a smaller portion. Oops!

Thanks so much for spending my last girls night out with me ladies. It was fun, tons of laughs as always and I think we all needed it.

Autumn and I...doesn't she look fantastic? I'm so proud of her!!

back: Alicia (the day after knee surgery-thanks so much for coming gimpy!!), Jess, Autumn, big ole me
front: Kelli, Jenny

GWA! Girls Weekend Away

My REAL Mothers Day present this year was given to me the weekend after Mothers Day. A few friends and I went and stayed at a Resort in Phoenix for the weekend. My friend Jess owns a timeshare and was able to get some bonustime there for the weekend for us for super cheap! Thanks so much Jess!!! You're the best!

The first night we went to this exhibit called Chihuly. It was at the botanical gardens in Phoenix and was really really cool. It was all this glass blown art by a man with the last name of Chihuly. It was amazing to see all the intricate details on some of these pieces. We got there when it was light out, but the cool thing is, all the pieces light up. It was beautiful once it got dark.

Probably my favorite piece.

Me, Jess and Autumn, Jenny was the photographer

After Chihuly we were all starving so we went to dinner at a place called Streets of NY (I think) and had some tasty food
Jenny, Autumn, Me, Jess and Alicia

Saturday we woke up and drove to Autumns sisters baby shower. This is Amy and I. She is having a boy which she is naming the same as my boy. Only difference is....the spelling.
Quinn (for me) and Cwynn (for Amy). We are about 5 weeks apart.

left: Autumn, Alicia, Kelli right: Me, Jess, Jenny
After the shower the girls went swimming while I took a MUCH needed nap. Then we all went to dinner at Claim Jumper. OMG! It was so tasty. They have the best potato skins. I promise. :)
It was an awesome, needed, deserved and everything else sort of weekend. Thanks Jer for letting me go and for taking care of Kasen for the weekend while I took some R&R at a resort with friends. Best mothers day gift!!
When we going to do it again girls? lol

Mothers Day

I am going to try and post the month of May in recap of just a couple posts. I have been slacking and not wanting to blog but after a few inquiries, I have promised to catch up on blogging before Quinn is born. Since that will be tomorrow. Here I am blogging. Last minute.

Mothers Day was a special day. I was sick all day, wasn't able to eat, only went to Sacrament for church and was given a candy bar (great for a diabetic pregnant woman) and then went home. I spent the whole day in bed not feeling well and the highlight of my day was eating rice for dinner.

OH...and these SWEET SWEET gifts from Kasen. One he made with his daddy, the coupon book. The other he made in his primary class. So cute. Yes, before I remembered to take a picture I had already eaten the FASTBREAK candy bar that was on it. I have had a little bit of a problem with one of my cravings lately. Peanut Butter and Chocolate. It's gotten the best of me.

Jeremy was very caring and sweet, and Kasen did all he could to take care of me that day. They are the best. I love them to pieces. :) Because of my sweet 4 year old boy, I am a mother. I owe him a lot for giving me the best blessing in my life. Motherhood.